Day 4

I have been accused, lovingly, by a friend that I am never content. In thirty years, he feels that I have seldom... been content. So, that creates in my mind what is contentment? Why would someone who knows me well mention such a thing? Am I not content?

What is contentment? I would propose that contentment is being satisfied with who you are, what you are, and where you are.

Am I satisfied with who or what I am? At times. Other times I realize how I could, and should be a better father, better husband, better servant, just better. So I guess I am not totally content at who I am and what I am.

Am I content with where I am? Not really. I get this feeling that I am still waiting... For what? I don't know, it is just a feeling.

Now, back to the reason for this blog. My dear friend says that my lack of contentment oozes out of what I write on this blog. I guess it does. It is hard to hide how one feels when he is writing feelings and thoughts of the heart. I do feel a desire, a need, an urge to work toward that wonderful condition that was enjoyed by Enoch in his Zion. Perhaps it is just me. Perhaps it is just something that effects me and no one else. My vision that many people feel the same as I do, is possibly in error, and no one feels as I do.

But while I long for that sociality, that charity felt between everyone involved, that condition of love and caring between everyone, I shall continue to be, I guess, discontented.

When I study the scriptures, I read many times when this condition existed. Since the people on earth now are destined to help usher in the millennium, I just figured that there are many who feel the same way, many who are seeking this condition, many who quietly desire to be involved, for it will indeed exist once again, according to the words of the prophets.

So, am I content, or not? Is writing this blog about strengthening the Kingdom and establishing Zion just expressing my desire for something I cannot have? Should I be content on this day of my birth, be grateful for what I have, thoroughly enjoy what is given to me and quit seeking more?

I appreciate my dear friend for opening my eyes to what contentment is and making me think about it. Through thirty years in knowing him I have never been content. But that brings up another subject. Are there people in this life (like me) who are always seeking to become better, find a better life, create more joy with others, climb a higher mountain, serve more people, read more scriptures and just be MORE? Or should we be content in what we have been given, and thankful for it, quit seeking the end of the rainbow, and smile?

That is a question I invite anyone who happens to read this to comment on, for I am pondering this day what I am to learn from this experience. Am I content? Should I be?